ANOTHER LATE NIGHT

opinions..they matter

2009-11-10T23:43:00.001-08:00

I welcome you, honestly I do. The sudden reemergence of old longing and the need to be accepted by someone. Recapture your your youth and kindled happiness. I still think you'll fail because this time something that wasn't there before stands in the way.. and I won't move..

When you are young and not so resentfull..

2009-11-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

I again had a great "weekend" i hate being alone again; however, as much as everything sucks I must press on, but everything reminds me of my misery.. this book, this room, these shoes. I don't own anything that does not remind me that 4 days a week I'm all alone. Whatever... sean, skinny, tublett you dudes are keeping me sane here..

only a bit more time than i'll be home.

listening to: mouth eater-lot lizard 7"

"home is where you are, where i am, where we are together"

Day

2009-11-04T15:28:00.001-08:00

Tell me who I am.. please..

listening to:badmouth-carpe noctem

i've gotten good at hiding

2009-11-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

I fell into this hole.

Done Counting

2009-11-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

it all ends.

Last night was one of the best of my life.

this isn't a story to be told. not a feeling you want to have. this isn't a fucking line in a god damn poem. this isn't any fucking literary expression or artistic vision. it's called breathing.. just because one person can't stand the air that fills their lungs doesn't mean you should want to feel like that. you shouldn't want this sort of thing. not a story to be told.

listening to: repos-s/t

Day 30: I want you to know.

2009-10-30T08:18:00.001-07:00

...

listening to: trap them-seizures in barren praise

come on... seriously

2009-10-29T20:22:00.001-07:00

man this shit is hilarious

tomorrow bear trap/sarah weekend

Day 29: tomorrow begins a new countdown

2009-10-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

to weekend nachos show.

It's really cold outside and snowy... but I am going to go ride my bike for a long time today.

listening to: Cult Ritual-1st LP

Can we leave now?

2009-10-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Sarah, don't read Jordan's blog.

ever.

Day 28: losing

2009-10-28T11:41:00.000-07:00

I just feel like everything is kinda slipping away.

Whatever at least I have Sarah.

listening to: Touche Amore demo

Day 27: Over and out

2009-10-27T10:07:00.001-07:00

Another day closer to this weekend. I usually hate Halloween, but I feel like this year is going to be amazing. I really really really hate when they rearrange tables here.

I love hearing everything even if you think it is "stupid"

listening to: Vile Gash demo II

Blind Guy McSqueezy

2009-10-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

I hate being at the house.. I love the place and the dude rules.. just kinda hate being stuck everyone bailed tonight, but whatever tomorrow I'll see pete and hopefully sean and it'll be okay than wednsday and the week will almost be over!!! and everyone knows what happens at the end of the week.

mo' fuckin' bear trap

listening to: hellogoodbye-when we first met ep

6.

2009-10-26T15:43:00.001-07:00

No longer Searching. No longer hurt.

Day 26: Re-location

2009-10-26T11:46:00.000-07:00

New car.. New house.. New life..

Bear Trap weekend slowly closing in. Nothing else to really say. I had the best weekend ever I never thought that tofu or what not could actually taste like.. food. Fuck bros at the cheesecake factory and fuck you all for not listening to cult ritual you fucking tools.

listening to: Bright Eyes-digital ash

"i'll always keep you from falling apart"

we fail to represent , we fail to be content, we fail at everything we ever even try to attempt.

2009-10-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

This song is good.

listening to motion city soundtrack-I am the movie

Day 24: Elitism at its best

2009-10-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, I feel it too. The pressure builds and builds and builds and until I touch your skin or feel your warmth, doesn't go away. It sucks because there is so much happiness around me and I still find myself sucked into this hole, a truly dark existence. I now thrive on three key things that are keeping me moving. My only three "passions" or true interests. As they all quickly flicker and burn out only one of them stays lit and burning longer and longer and longer and brighter and more intense of a flame. Only one thing warms my cold trembling hands. Only one person lends me the warmth from their arms. I can't close my eyes without seeing it.

I said it.. I meant it..

forever

...

2009-10-23T11:06:00.001-07:00

Day 23: when it rains it...

2009-10-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

I still see a black tunnel, but in the back there's small lantern keeping me moving still looking for light. we all burn out like lights/ignite the fillament in or hearts and burn out our eyes.

Thank you Sarah, for you have somehow allowed me to relieve some of this pressure in my head and found a way to actually make me happy.

Forever.

listening to: Loma Prieta Dark Mountain
(seriously this is what it's all about i love this fucking band)

Day 22: where writing is an actual possibility

2009-10-22T17:19:00.000-07:00

I wish you all felt the way I do.. about anything.. everything.

I really am alone. You two are saving me from myself; however, I don't know if it will be enough. I am so sick of this living thing.

Note to Pete: Nothing gets better why fucking try?

listening to: vile gash demo II

Day 21: Ever since I was young.

2009-10-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

I always wanted to be an airplane.

Things have been going pretty alright right about now. I got a new place and a am getting a new car.A new girl and almost a new life. I actually can say that breathing doesn't hurt as bad right now.

Oh TT last night was weird.

Listening to: Trap Them Sleepwell Deconstructor

Day 20: you hang in judgement

2009-10-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

Selfish. Judgement.

day 19: get off the cross.

2009-10-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

People like me don't feel like this. People like me don't get this lucky.

Fuck you for reading this josh.

"I'd walk to hell and back everyday untill the day we die"

I've never felt more alive.

2009-10-14T11:09:00.001-07:00

I thought i told you

2009-10-13T02:30:00.000-07:00

nothing ever gets better. Life's just one big shit storm.

falling

2009-10-08T17:46:00.001-07:00

...